Today i decide on changing my attitude towards life. Before this, i never actually sat down and REALLY think about how i was, how i am or how i am going to be like. i never actually ‘muhasabah‘ in the real meaning of it. Most of the time i would just look through my life for a while and decide to change something big, but then.. the spirit doesnt last long enough. Soon i would be doing another reflection, similar like the previous one. then again and again.
I think, maybe i was too afraid of discovering the REAL me, afraid i might not like who i actually am.
Now, I’m not sure but when i really started thinking i feel like i do not have a really important role in my circle of friendship. I mean, i’m a friend. But then, what do they need me for? Can i give what they actually want? Am i the systematic one? One who always find way to inspire them?
They do. I find inspiration from all of them. I learn a lot. But am i giving back at all?
Often, i find myself listening to them telling their stories. I usually do not actually know what to say. So, while listening i will be thinking of some people who had experienced what they are experiencing and would be preparing sentences to say to them afterwards. This is bad. I know. Read it in Stephen Covey’s book.:)
I’m actually giving my ‘patient’ glasses that use to fit to someone else who seems to have almost similar ‘eye problem’ like this patient without actually trying to really diagnose the problem.
I was not listening! True.
so yess, a first step.. I going to start to LISTEN. If i am proactive, i focus and listen.Not just hear. Do you think you have been through what i did? Then lets start LISTENING together!