Dear Allah.

Too many things happened and now, it’s time. It’s surreal. It’s not as I expected it to be. But I can plan and wish all I want, but Allah’s decision is the best and I don’t just know that – I strongly believe so.

As it gets nearer, I’m getting more and more anxious. Suddenly there’re just so many things I’d like to do before embarking on this journey I’ve been anticipating for quite some time.

Dear Allah, if going there is what destined for me then make it easy for me.

Help me love You, truly sincerely and eternally for I know what I’m offering now is not good and true enough.

Keep me grounded, close to You and don’t ever let me go astray.

I pray to never ever forget that I’m always in need of You.

Help me protect my heart and mind from all decisions that are bad and wrong for me, my Deen and my future.

Help me stay strong in my faith.

Help me so I’ll never take my Deen and its rulings lightly.

I want to always remember that I’m going there to fulfill my responsibility towards my Deen, my country and family. So Allah, guide me please. I’m going there for You so shower me with Your blessings. Release me from any worldly intentions. I’m going there to learn medicine and human because of You so help me be a better muslim for this ummah.

On the authority of Omar bin Al-Khattab, who said : I heard the messenger of Allah salla Allahu alihi wa sallam say :

“Actions are but by intention and every man shall have but that which he intended. Thus he whose migration was for Allah and His messenger, his migration was for Allah and His messenger, and he whose migration was to achieve some worldly benefit or to take some woman in marriage, his migration was for that for which he migrated.”

(related by Bukhari and Muslim)

Send me people who’ll always remind me of You and help me remind them of You.

Make me a true friend for those I’m going there with and bless them too.

I know I’ll not forget my family. But I promise to not make “busy” as an excuse to not call them and tell them that I haven’t forgotten them everyday. To always know what’s going on in their lives because my life is tangled with theirs. To let them know I love them and shall love them always for the rest of my life.

I know I’ll never forget my best friends but I also wanna promise to stay in contact with them. To let them know every once in a while, that once they’ve entered my life – there’s no turning back.

I shall never forget my brothers and sisters who are facing terrible things now (in Gaza, Syria etc). I shall remember that they’re part of me. I shall not forget that I will be asked too on what I did for them, for our Deen that they’re fighting for. And so, no matter where I go – they shall be in my prayers. I have to actively take part in helping them in all ways within my capability.

I know that as a muslim who thinks she cares about Gaza and Syria, there’s more in my responsibility-bucket. Being a better muslim in all aspects, help me to it Allah.

I’m scared because I always am. But I do things I fear ‘cause I know You’re near.

Please help me stay in Your path.

And you, the one reading this post.. please make doa for me. May Allah bless you too.
0125am, 11/08/14


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